Category Archives: Gnome Memes

Let It Rain

Have I ever seen the rain? Do you know who you’re talking to, motherfucker?

ever seen it rain?

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Who Are You Calling A Hobbit?

Fans of the Lord of the Rings will understand. Frodo and Samwise Gamgee are famously embroiled in the greatest undisclosed gay love affair in cinema history. It’s so undisclosed, it reportedly has never happened. Watching the movie, however, I wouldn’t put any money on it.

So, what’s a homophobic garden gnome to do when the uninvited house guests begin taunting him and calling him a hobbit?

Deny it, of course.

who are you calling a hobbit?

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Meme: Nice Pecker, Whiz Kid

Ever pee on a garden gnome? I imagine that if you did, it would say something like, “Nice pecker, whiz kid.”

Nice pecker, whiz kid

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Kiss The Garden Gnome Month

Did you know October is Kiss The Garden Gnome Month? It sure is. So go and find a garden gnome and kiss the lucky fucker.

kiss the garden gnome

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Monday Meme: I’m From The Stone Age

Every Monday, the garden gnomes will publish a meme as a reflection of their very soul. The meme will be a statement of the core of our garden gnome character. We hope you like these aphorisms, for they are for you as much for us.

Oh, who am I kidding?

We’re as self-centered as you are. The difference is, we submit. You should too. Send us your flash fiction. Send it now. Send it when it is ready. Just send it. Enter our monthly Flim-Flim games.

And enjoy the memes.

please forgive me I'm from the stone age

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Ain’t I Sexy?

It’s Meme Monday. The garden gnomes are feeling sexy.

sexy as a garden gnome

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Yes, I’m Stoned (What’s Your Excuse?)

It’s Monday meme time. Enjoy this Garden Gnome meme for the day.

garden gnome I'm stoned

Meanwhile, send us some flash. And if you’re feeling really squirrely, play our game. Flim-flam!

Flim-flim!

Isn’t that fun?

One more thing … what’s a garden gnome without a garden? Enter the Garden of Eden anthology and partake of some forbidden fruit.

Don’t forget. Garden gnomes are sexy. Stoned or not.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

How To Become A Garden Gnome

If you’ve always wanted to be a garden gnome, now is your chance. Garden Gnome Publications are looking for volunteers to post Craigslist ads in your local town announcing a call for submissions. All you have to do is list us in your hometown. If interested, contact the chief garden gnome at gardengnome at allenleetaylor.com. Instructions will be on the way.

become a garden gnome

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

I’ve Been Dwarfed

Gnomes and dwarfs have a lot in common. They’re both short … and … let’s see … I’m thinking … yeah … they’re both short.

I bet you’ve never heard of a garden dwarf, have you? Any question now about which one is superior?

Hmmmm?

garden gnome, not a dwarf

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

My Brother Is An Elf

Garden gnomes are known for their sense of humor. They also notoriously have a big family. Sprites, elves, drows, nymphs, satyrs, leprechauns, and jubjub birds are all distant cousins. The last thing in the world you want to do is jack with a garden gnome.

garden gnome brother elf

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS