No More Threesomes In Automobiles, Please

by Allen Taylor
Garden Gnome Pubs Editor

It just doesn’t pay to have sex in automobiles, not in this century. Jezebel reports that a Chinese woman broke her legs when one of the members of a menage a trois accidentally bumped the parking break. I guess they found out, that’s not what that’s for!

Several things are wrong here:

  1. Backs seats don’t have parking breaks, which kind of makes me wonder … why were they in the front seat? Or was it just one person in the front seat, and if that is the case, was that person trying to climb into the back with the other two or were the other two trying to climb up front to be with him?
  2. Why did they park near trees? It’s much safer if you go out on a rural road somewhere so that you don’t have obstacles and foreign objects interfering with the party activities. They do have treeless areas in China, don’t they?
  3. Only one of them was naked. If the silver lining is your partner got to ride to the emergency room with you in his underwear, then there is no silver lining. You can’t have sex if the other parties are clothed. It makes me wonder if that parking break thing was accidental, after all.
  4. Only one injured party, and she broke her legs. What exactly was taking place here? Only one out of three was injured and she broke both of her legs? It’s been a long time since I’ve had sex, but I think I remember most of the details. Just who was doing what to whom here?

I really don’t think the authorities performed a very thorough forensics investigation into this matter. Perhaps they need to stage a mock replay so we can determine precisely where things went wrong.

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